Posts by cognizant dissident

12

Thank you for your welcome and comments.

by Sign oTimes in

jw
friends

i have lurked for quite some time.

many of my past thoughts have been funneled through one of your regulars due to my current situation.

however, my first post illustrates the type of increased activity i expect on this site and similar ones in the near future, as just a few former insiders become disgruntled and get involved.

cognizant dissident

Gumby:

I really think you spend way too much time obsessing about your nutsack polishing business! You should get a hobby. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!

13

Strange experiences on the field

by wozadummy in

jw
friends

has anyone had feelings or experiences on the field where what happened seemed only to be from one source - divine?

cognizant dissident

People feeling angelic presence, not feeling pain during beatings, meeting a Christian the moment that they are praying for truth - these are all normal experiences.

What does it prove? Is it that God is directing all religions, that this is all just coincidence, or that our bodies have the ability to create these impressions in stress?

Interesting point JW. There is research (OK, I'm too lazy to reference it properly) that shows nerve fibres, including pain fibres, once stimulated past a certain point, can no longer respond. (Kinda like men and sex ). This explains why people being severely beaten can no longer feel the pain after a while. They take it as divine intervention, but it is really a self-protective mechanism of the nervous system that is present in everyone. Also, during severe stress, pain-numbing endorphins will also kick in as part of the fight or flight response. The tingling sensations that this girl experienced when confronted with potential attackers could be explained by the flood of chemicals and endorphins triggered by her body's fight or flight (stress) response. There can also be a heightened sensory awareness which is also part of the protective mechanism which allows the brain to decide which stimuli is the most crucial to pay attention to in order to survive the threatening situation.

So, there you go, no angelic presence necessary. Just the bodies innate tendancy towards self-preservation. Of course, a good JW will immediately ask, "but who designed human bodies with this wonderful survival mechanism?"

Cog

36

Should I admit to JWs that I am disfellowshipped?

by jwfacts in

i know about 2000 jws in sydney, and have 50 that are tax clients, so barely a week goes by without bumping into someone i know.

it seems that few of them realise that i am disfellowshipped because they talk freely to me.

last week i accidently sat next to an elder on the train and we engaged in small talk for over 30 minutes.. should i admit to these people that i am not a jw?.

cognizant dissident

This thread reminds me of how lepers in the Bible, used to have to ring a bell as they walked, shouting Unclean! Unclean! so all would know their status and to stay clear of them. That is in effect what JW's want df'd people to do. It is definitely playing by their rules to accomodate them. I say don't tell, it's none of their business.

Cog

32

Dinner with moderate Muslims

by peacefulpete in

my wife has a classmate that recently married a pakistani man.

he's here only on a student visa and is faced with returning to pakistan as soon as he graduates.

he has an application for greencard pending but the wheels turn slow.

cognizant dissident

I sympathize with you Pete. In that situation, when you are trying to be a gracious host, it is difficult to know how far to go when confronting such obvious bigotry.

My son was recently in a similar situation. He went to visit his grandmother and her brother, his great uncle was also there. The uncle does not belong to any religion. Yet, he kept making remarks about gays and how Hitler had the right idea on how to handle the problem! Can you believe it? This guy lived through the 2nd World War. It just goes to show you, ignorance knows no limits!

Cog

5

Reflecting on the Chain of Abuse.

by Nosferatu in

as i was doing dishes, i was thinking about the child abuse chain that runs through my family.

well, at least on my mother's side.

i got to thinking about my grandfather who sexually abused my mother, and what kind of a man he was.. i only met the old bastard once in my life when i was around seven years old.

cognizant dissident

Hi Nos:

My stepfather molested me when I was 12 and 13. He was abusive and violent towards my mother also. She told me she stayed with him for the money, because she couldn't support herself on her own. Yet she had a very well paying job and blew all her money irresponsibly. She used to encourage me to sit on his knee and flirt with him and ask him for money and ask him to buy me things. This is the only way my mother knew how to relate to men. She was also physically abused as a child, she says not sexually, but I have my doubts about this. She taught me this behaviour and for a few years in my late teens and early twenties this is how I viewed men also. They wanted sex and in return you take em for everything you can get. I believe this pattern gets repeated in many abusive families down through the generations.

However, you can make a conscious decision to break the cycle. You have already done this by vowing to never physically abuse your children as was done to you. I did the same thing when I was pregnant with my son. In many ways I was a better parent than mine were to me. But that was only a first step and I didn't go far enough. It's not enough to just say you will not be abusive. There are warped thinking patterns and mindsets that go along with abuse and get passed down in families as well. This is what you have witnessed with your mother's attitude about taking your grandfather for his money. (Not that I have any sympathy for the guy or his money. I think molesters should have to pay financially for what they did) But not if taking the money means buying silence or keeping the person in your life when it's not a safe thing to do.

Like Lady Lee, I made many mistakes as a parent, verbally and emotionally, sometimes being abusive, because I hadn't gone deeper and addressed the abusive mindset that was passed down to me by my parents. I was still hating myself and abusing myself in my own mind and I passed down a lot of negative and perfectionist traits to my son that I now deeply regret. I wished I had gone for counselling when I was younger and before I had my child and the damage was done. Well better late than never. I have much greater understanding now of the total mind/body effects of abuse than I did then. I am honest with my son about my mistakes and apologize for them and try to heal any damage done. I am rewarded by a close bond with him that I never shared with my parents.

You sound like you are on the right path Nos. Explore it even further, with people who are truly knowledgeable about such issues. Don't stop learning about the effects of abuse on how you parent. Parenting will trigger issues for you that you didn't even know you had. At least it did for me. Lady Lee is a valuable resource on this subject. Of all the posters on this forum, she knows her stuff when it comes to this subject.

Hope my experience is helpful

Cog

20

My Story: My Current Religious Experience from Birth to the Present

by the_classicist in

i don't believe i've said anything about myself here, so here goes.. i was raised a jehovah's witness from birth.

my family's invovlement in this particular religion began with my great grandmother, a rather lovely woman who lived a long life who made homemade oreos which i had the occasion to enjoy once; she died firm in her beliefs.

my grandmother was subsequently raised in this religion, although not all of her brothers and sisters were, as far as i can reckon.

cognizant dissident

Hi Classicist:

I thought you expressed your story very well in your post. You are very well read and write very well for your age. I was also impressed with how respectfully and logically you replied to questions about your faith or lack thereof. The money you spent on your religious studies seems to be paying off!

I too have suffered from depression off and on for many years which I partially attribute to my guilt ridden, perfectionistic, JW upbringing. I was on Effexor for many years also and found it to be the best of the anti-depressants I tried.

Right now, I am of a similiar mind to you. I am not believing in God, nor am I disbelieving. I keep an open mind to all points of view and yet am dogmatic about none. This may seem wishy washy to some, but through recent wise counsel I have received, I have come to realize that part of the great distress we put upon ourselves, especially those with JW backgrounds, is in believing that we have to have all the answers to the universe. We think we need to know the "truth" so we can make the right decisions in our lives. In reality, the "truth" is not entirely knoweable, and it is OK to decide not to decide until we have more information on the origins of the universe or until God has revealed himself in some way to us. When decisions need to be made, we make them with the best knowledge we have at the time, and if they later turn out to be wrong, we don't have to beat ourselves up for that. (There's always lots of judgemental people willing to do that for us! lol)

Anyway, I'm 43 and have just come to this understanding. If you are really only 19, then you are way ahead of the game in wisdom and maturity. I'd like to talk with you in 20 years time. I think you will be a force to be reckoned with!

Sincerely,

Cog

6

168 hours

by ColdRedRain in

jw
friends

168 hours ago, i was on top of the world.

i had a successful date with a gal.

i was looking forward to making the meetings my own personal circus like i've done so many times.

cognizant dissident

Does anyone know whether ADHD is considered part of the spectrum? I've known of people with autism and tourettes syndrome who were also diagnosed with ADHD. Curious because my son has ADHD and poor social skills and yet is very intelligent and sometimes we just can't shut him up when he is waxing poetic on one of his pet subjects. When he was little he used to abuse himself and scream in this high pitched voiced and would appear almost like autistic children I had seen on television. I also watched a documentary on Aspergers once and thought my son shared some of those traits as well although perhaps to a lesser degree. Could anyone tell me more about the spectrum and how it is determined where one fits?

Sincerely,

Cog

43

Should I make a stink about this or not?

by merfi in

jw
friends

i've been working at the same hospital since 1991. a jw chick is hired this past january.

the hospital friends have been and are my support system as well as my 'team'.. a nurse friend played stupid last week and talked to the jw girl.

the jw asked her what religion she was.

cognizant dissident

Just wanted to make one little point of clarification. If you look up the words disfellowshipped and disassociated, they are synonyms and mean exactly the same thing. As usual, this is just more JW word play. It's a distinction without a difference. So, whether you were disfellowshipped or disassociated probably doesn't have any legal relevance either.

We all know JW's are famous for their silly word games. Another example: I was always taught to say I was "fortunate" as opposed to "lucky" as the latter term was a superstitious one. Again, if you look up in the dictionary, both words mean the exact same thing.

Another example: the obvious (nonexistent) biblical denunciation of major blood fractions as opposed to minor blood fractions which are not even mentioned in the bible.

You might tell her you weren't disfellowshiped for fornication, you were disassociated for shagging! If she can't see the obvious difference, well, there's just no reasoning with JW's.

Cog

5

More on Islam and JWs: parallels in the perpetuation of stiffled thinking

by valkyrie in

excerpt (with personal notes) from ayaan hirsi ali's (a.k.a.

ayaan hirsi magan) [a somali-dutch activist-cum-politician] new book, "the caged virgin: an emancipation proclamation for women and islam": .

my parents brought me up to be a muslim[/jw] -- a good muslim[/jw].

cognizant dissident

Dear disowned:

The reason you are free to wear the scarf and dress modestly by choice is because you live in America which gives you the freedom to make that choice. If you lived in a country ruled by Islamic law, the choice wouldn't be yours to make. It would be a matter of law, either the law of the spiritual leaders or your husband's. In America, you are free to enjoy the perceived benefits of Islam while being shielded by democratic law from its harsher applications.

Cog

5

More on Islam and JWs: parallels in the perpetuation of stiffled thinking

by valkyrie in

excerpt (with personal notes) from ayaan hirsi ali's (a.k.a.

ayaan hirsi magan) [a somali-dutch activist-cum-politician] new book, "the caged virgin: an emancipation proclamation for women and islam": .

my parents brought me up to be a muslim[/jw] -- a good muslim[/jw].

cognizant dissident

Inspiring post. One has to admire the courage of these muslim women who speak out against the oppressive/repressive religion. Witnesses who speak out against the organization risk disfellowshipping, admittedly a psychologically cruel practice. Yet these muslim women (and some men) who are in the forefront of the movement for change in their culture, risk imprisonment and death.

Their courage must grow in proportion to what they risk losing.

Cog